Monday, January 18, 2010

Damn, is it Monday already?

How does that happen so fast? We go from hip, hip hooray, it is FRIDAY to ugh NOT MONDAY AGAIN. Never have two days gone by faster. Our weekend was great! Both boys had great games.

It was basketball for 7.

Flag football for 13.

Weather actually cleared up and it was downright lovely! Reeled in the eating a little bit and actually wrote down what I ate. Novel idea, right? Here's hoping I can get a handle on the eating and get back to some regular exercise in the near future!

Might be hard to do that this week because I have to go into the office for the next few days for a training class. Dreading it! I only have to go in a couple of times a year, but trying to find something to wear, getting the boys organized for a few days without me, worrying about the dang flight. Mostly worrying about the flying. I HATE to fly - really, really hate it, hate it, hate it. Is that clear enough? There is not one thing that I like about it - except the getting there so fast and not having to drive 14 hours. That I like, but every single other thing - not so much. My stomach starts getting in knots the minute the Airport Control Tower comes into view. I start making phone calls, saying Good-byes and I Love Yous. It is part of my routine. Don't let the boys forget how much I love them. If this plane goes down, my life was awesome and I wouldn't change a thing. I want you to re-marry, but only someone who loves the boys like crazy. Don't let her trick you either. She must REALLY love them. Let them talk about missing me, play our family videos, tell them how much I loved them.

Lord, I could just lay my head down and cry right now.

Can you only imagine what it is like to be on the receiving end of my morbid phone calls? It is a wonder hubby will even answer the phone when I call.

Anyway, I have my little white pill that gives me the fortitude to walk down the tunnel and into a seat on the aircraft. Taken one hour before flight and then my feet will move forward although every fiber of my being is saying "Why are you doing this? You realize in about 15 minutes this metal bird is going to be hurdling through the sky at 25,000 feet. Run. Turn around and RUN!". I don't though. Not sure what is in those pills the doctor gave me, but it is pretty powerful stuff.

I have a good book I have been saving to read on the plane. I will start reading it immediately when I get in my seat. From all outward appearances it will appear that I am a calm, frequent traveler, who did not require a firm internal talking to and a little white pill to get on the plane. It has gotten better over the years. The more I fly the easier it gets. Facing those fears, over and over and over again. I think eventually you are just exhausted from the whole process of being scared.

So, wish me luck. If the plane goes down just know I TOLD YOU SO - those things are dangerous!

Love, love, love everything about my life and really hope I make it back to see how the rest of it plays out! I leave you with one more peek at what I miss when I am gone.

I might need two pills today.


  1. Bless your heart! Melissa please don't worry so much. There will be no problem finding someone to love your children. I will marry hubby for you and tell those boys everyday how much you loved them and how you very much wanted them to eat fresh fruit and healthy stuff. LOL! I know how you must feel about the flights. I haven't flown in over 10 years, I think it would take alittle more than one little pill for me.

  2. I have to ask...what is coming out of 13's mouth in that flag football picture? Is that a crazy large mouth piece or is Gene Simmons the real father?

  3. Thanks Gail - You are so thoughtful and considerate!!

    Liz - Not so much a crazy large mouth piece, but a mouth piece with a handle. Weird, huh?