Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Bath Time

I am a big believer in the power of a hot bath to soothe what ails you. To take away the worry and stress of a day, few things are better than a nice bath a good book. For my kids, especially my young lad Chip bath time is the exact polar opposite of relaxing.

First comes the arguing about why he has to take a bath right now. Why? Why? Why? You stink, thats why. People have to bathe - now get upstairs.

Then we proceed to the stripping and dropping of clothes. I tell him for the 7,694th time to put his clothes into the actual hamper, not around the hamper, not just in the general direction of the hamper, but actually INSIDE. Night after night he acts like this is the first he has heard of this bizarre request.

Then with the clothes taken off, there is inevitably some kind of butt joke, butt reference and tonight there was a butt trick. Young Chip was wowing his older brother by squeezing his cute little butt cheeks and throwing his voice to make it seem like his tiny hiney was talking. Harold loved it. Of course if your older brother loves your butt trick then you must do it 42 more times.

Knock off the talking butt tricks and get in the bath Chip.

Then the actually washing of the body. I have to go over all the parts...did you wash your hair? Did you wash your arm pits? Did you wash your feet? There is always at least one part that was inadvertently overlooked.

Getting out, we get to look forward to the taming of the hair.

Mom: Dry your hair Chip.
Chip: I like to leave mine wet.
Mom: Please don't leave it soaking wet, you are going to bed soon and it will soak your pillow.
Chip: That's what I like.
Mom: I don't like that. I want you to dry it a little bit.
Chip: Can you do that thing where you turn the blow dryer thing on cold and point it at me.
Mom: Just once, but then we are going to put it on warm and dry your hair.
Chip: First put it on cold, do it really cold and point it at me.
Mom: Okay, we did that, now it is time to dry your hair.
Chip: Why are you so mean?

Move on to the battle of the teeth. Honestly, it is just about the same conversation night after night.

Mom: Brush your teeth buddy.
Chip: I just brushed them the other day.
Mom: Well you should brush them every day, even twice in the same day.
Chip: Do I have to use toothpaste?
Mom: Yes.
Chip: Mom, want to see my creepy face.
Mom: No Chip, I want you to brush your creepy teeth.
Chip: First look at my creepy face. See it! See how creepy it is?
Mom: Yes Chip, it is super creepy now brush your teeth.
Chip: First, can I go show Dad my creepy face?
Mom: No, first you have to brush your teeth and then you can go show him.
Chip: First, can I go show Harold my creepy face?
Mom: No, you may not leave this bathroom until your teeth are brushed.
Chip: Why are you so mean?

God love him but I am exhausted by the time he is clean and tucked into his little bed. So glad that there is a nice glass of red wine waiting in the kitchen with my name on it.

Goodnight sweet Chip, sleep tight.

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