Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Bedtime Stalling Techniques

My sweet boys both have mastered the art of stalling their bedtime routines. They are well practiced and persistent. I am sure it will pay off in many areas of their life when they are grown. I just can't wait to figure out how!

Let me give you a peek into an evening at our house. We will start with Chip since he is in 2nd grade and has to head to bed a little earlier than the rest of us. Last night, was a normal school night and here is how it went down as I tucked my sweet little pumpkin into his bed:

Mom: Goodnight Chip! I love you. Sleep tight.
Chip: Mom, I love you. I love you so much. You are the best mom ever.
Mom: Thanks Chip, I think you are pretty awesome too.
Chip: Can you tell me a story? A made up one. But it has to be really, really funny. It can't be about me or be short.
Mom: Tells some random hysterical story about a cat with a pooping problem. Chip laughed till he almost cried.
Chip: Can you tell it again, PLEASE!!! Just one more time.
Mom: No honey, it is time for bed. Maybe we can do it again tomorrow.
Chip: Hey Mom, can I ask you a question?
Mom: Sure, make it quick.
Chip: Do you know Kobe Bryant's number?
Mom: Seven.
Chip: No
Mom: Eighteen.
Chip: No
Mom: Twenty-four.
Chip: That's right! That is really a good guess.
Mom: Okay buddy, good night. See you in the morning.
Chip: Hey Mom, can you fix my closet door like I like it. Almost shut, but not all the way and turn on the light.
Mom: Okay, is this good?
Chip: Yeah, that's perfect.
Mom: Alright then. See you in the morning.
Chip: Mom, can I ask you a really big favor?
Mom: Sure, what is it?
Chip: Can you make me some eggs with my toast in the morning. Maybe some bacon if you have it.
Mom: I have both and I would love to make it for you. It will be a good breakfast. 'Night sweetheart.
Chip: Mom, could I have an Oreo for breakfast dessert if I eat all my breakfast?
Mom: Chip, there is no such thing as breakfast dessert. Now, get to sleep buddy.
Chip: Mom, I have one more quiz for you.
Mom: Good night Chip (walking away)
Chip: MMMMOOOOMMM - tell Dad to come check on me!!!!!
Mom: Okay - Love you.

30 seconds later.....

Chip: DDDAAAAADDDDD - Come check on me!!!!
Chip: MOM - What are you watching on TV??? Don't watch Biggest Loser without me!
Mom: It is not on till tomorrow Chip - Go to sleep!

Now, Harold is a little more savvy now that he is closing in on 14 years old. He is normally allowed to stay up until about 10:30. You can rest assured that he gets very quiet and tries his best to make himself invisible at about 10:25. However, eventually I catch on and here is how it goes down with him:

Mom: Harold, it is time to head up to bed.
Harold: Mom, c'mon. I had a field trip today. I am not the least bit tired.
Mom: Well, honey even if you are not tired now you will be tomorrow if you don't get enough sleep. Now scoot on upstairs.
Harold: Hey Mom, can I ask you a question?
Mom: Sure.
Harold: Do you think Ty Pennington on Extreme Home Makeover is cute?
Mom: I think so. Why do you ask? (Don't really even need to ask this question because I know why he asked. I was watching Extreme Home Makeover and at that very second Ty Pennington was on the screen. I can usually see Harold frantically looking around for some subject matter he can engage me in a conversation about to stall. That's why he asked.)
Harold: I don't know, I have just been wondering. How old is he?
Mom: I have no idea how old he is. Okay then, head on to bed. I will be up in a little bit to check on you.
Harold: Mom, did you remember that I need to make up that Science Test this week. I will check with my teacher tomorrow to see when I can make it up.
Mom: Okay, just let me know. Get up off the couch son, it is time to head to bed.
Harold: Oh Mom, I think I have a progress report you need to sign.
Mom: Well, I will sign it in the morning.
Harold: Okay. Mom, does Astro look like he is breathing weird?
Mom: No, he is fine.
Harold: Really, he looks weird to me. Come here Astro. Oh, he seems okay. I would hate for anything to happen to my Baby Astro.
Mom: Harold - Bed. Now.
Harold: Okay. My eyes were still burning today. Do you think I have cancer in my eyes.
Mom: Yes I do.
Harold: What!!!???? Do you really think I have cancer?
Mom: No Harold. I don't really think you have cancer. I think you have allergies as we have previously discussed at length and that you are now just stalling. Now get upstairs and get to bed.
Harold: Well now I won't be able to sleep because I am worried about having cancer.
Mom: You will be fine. Goodnight.
Harold: Sulking up the stairs. Love you Mom. Love you Dad.
Mom and Dad: We love you too. See you in the morning.

Is it as exhausting to read as it is to live through it??? Gee whiz!!! These two are pros and their antics usually buy them about 10 or 15 minutes of extra awake time. I am sure in 15 years I will look back on this and give anything to have these random bedtime conversations with them. Actually it seems like just yesterday that I had to rock them to sleep with a bottle.

Hmmm, maybe I will tell Chip an extra story tonight and give Harold an extra 15 minutes snuggling on the couch with me!

1 comment:

  1. 10:30!!!!!! Really? Our entire family is in bed by 9:00 . . . okay the first one rises in the morning at 4:15, the second at 5:15, the boys 5:45 . . . girl, whenever I get done.

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