Wednesday, April 28, 2010

New Car Honeymoon


I have had my new car for over a month and we are still in the honeymoon phase. It still smells new and I have washed it six times since it pulled into the driveway. That is alot of washing. Of course, we did have record setting oak pollen falling all over it for the last several weeks so it was necessary just to be able to see out of the window. The boys are still gathering up their trash, drinks, books, toys, etc. whenever they get out so it has not accumulated any trash. That is so nice. As we were getting out of the car on Monday night, I accidentally squeezed a juice bag Chip got as a snack after his baseball game and it shot all over the car door. I went in the house immediately and got a towel to clean it up. WHAT??? This will not last forever I am sure.

I have finally figured out how to get into the Suburban. For the first few weeks I got in different every time. Sometimes I felt like I crawled into the drivers seat, stood up, turned around three times like a dog before I sat down behind the steering wheel. That was entirely too time consuming and I also looked liked an idiot. So, I tried stepping up and going in head first, backing in and swinging my legs around, going in side ways, stepping up like saddling a horse swinging my leg over the console. Every which way you can imagine I tried. It doesn't seem like it should be that hard, but it was. I have it mastered now. Left leg first, hold on to the steering wheel then swing right leg up and under the steering wheel and slide in. All one fluid motion. I do have to put down my purse and anything else in my hand for this to work, but empty handed it works perfectly.

The only other glitch is the On-Star provided directions. I don't know if you have a regular GPS Navigation deal, but when you go off the route with one of those in your car it will automatically re-route you to your destination. Not with On-Star. That lady starts talking hard to you. She actually seems a little pissed off that she just sent you directions and now you are not following them. "You have left the pre-programmed route. Your directions will restart when you return to the established route. If you need to cancel the directions hit the phone button." So if I feel like I kind of know where I am going I will hit the phone button and then the real circus starts.

On-Star Directions: If you would like to cancel your route say "Cancel".
Me: Cancel
On-Star Directions: I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Did you say cancel?
Me: Yes
On-Star Directions: I'm sorry, did you need new directions to your destination?
Me: No. Cancel.
On-Star Directions: I'm sorry, I could not understand you. Did you say cancel?

Keep in mind that Chip is in the backseat the whole time saying "Who turned off the radio? I can't hear that song. Where did the music go? Did Harold turn off the music? Why does he hate me? It was my favorite song. Turn it back on. Are you almost done Mom? Why does that lady keep saying she can't understand what you are saying?"

It is no wonder the poor On-Star automatic direction lady can't understand a word of what I am trying to communicate. Between my "Yes. No. Cancel" she is picking up "Chip, just a minute. Chip you have to be quiet so she can hear me."

It is a fiasco. I arrive at my destination, even taking a few wrong turns, well before I can get the On-Star lady and Chip to stop battling it out.

Other than that, me and my new car are still in love.

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