Sunday, June 27, 2010

Bob Chronicles - Seventh in a Series

Hello all. It has been some time since I have entertained you with a Bob Chronicles, so let's get going here with the seventh in a series. It's a good one.

Once upon a time, my folks were traveling with my Granny, not sure exactly where, but they had pulled over at a Burger King to grab some lunch. After they ate, Bob was going to hit the restroom before they got back on the road. My mom asked him to show Granny where the restroom was while she finished eating and cleaned up the table.

Bob was happy to do this. Granny is getting on up there in age, but is still sharp as a tack. She and Bob have a great relationship and although she is fiercely independent she was agreeable to my dad helping her on this occasion.

Bob leads Granny to the restroom, makes sure that she gets in and then he hits the men's room across the way. He gets done with his business and comes out to find Mom and Granny and get back on the road. On the way out, he notices a couple of middle aged ladies at a table smiling at him. If you know Bob, at this point you should be able to picture the look on his face as he smiles back at them and sucks his gut in a little bit. He still has it. I can almost picture him walking by giving them a grin and a wave "Helllloooo Ladies".

Lord, I can only hope he didn't turn on his "flirting" face. Remember this from when he played Guesstures with us on their last visit to Texas?

Anyway, Bob gets back to the table where Mom and Granny are waiting and he has a big old smile on his face. He is feeling pretty good after the ladies were checking him out.

He asks Mom and Granny if they are ready to go. It is at this point that Granny raises her eyes and glares at him and says "You put me in the Men's Bathroom." Mom said his face went from a big smile, to confusion, to alarm in the span of about three seconds.

That's right, if he put Granny in the Men's bathroom, then that means he was in the Women's bathroom.

Those women were not checking him out for his baby blue eyes, confident stride or strapping build. They saw that confused man coming out of the Ladies room and it was probably more of a smirk than a smile they were flashing his way.

He couldn't get out of Burger King fast enough.

Once in the car, they rehashed the whole thing from beginning to end. Granny said she didn't notice that there was a urinal since she had gone directly into the stall, as most women do. She said she was at the sink washing her hands when a man opened the door to come in. He quickly turned to leave and Granny thought, oh that poor fool went in the wrong bathroom. As she was heading to the door she saw the urinal on the wall and she knew. He wasn't the fool, she was. The gentleman was waiting outside the bathroom and she had to walk by him on her way back to the table. Granny was so embarrassed and she wanted to kill Bob.

On Bob's end, he said he went in the bathroom, looked for a urinal and didn't see one so he also went into a stall. He didn't notice anything unusual, except maybe the cleaner than usual toilets. No one came in while he was in there - Thank Heavens!!!

This story gets told many times and Bob can laugh himself to tears recounting it for others. It is a classic and I am so happy I could permanently record it here and share it with my four loyal readers. You will have to ask Bob about it if you see him - he tells it much better than me!

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