Thursday, June 24, 2010

Confession and Celebration

First, my Confession. You know how some people sneak cookies or chips? Thinking that if someone doesn't see them eating it that the calories don't count. I don't personally know anything about that kind of behavior, but I have read about it. Maybe in one of those self help books or a magazine laying around here somewhere. Oh alright, I am sure you all know I am lying. I know a tiny bit, maybe have actually experienced it once or twice before OR maybe it is a daily occurrence in my life. Regardless of the answer, today I hit an all time new low.

I snuck out to the garage with a cup full of ice, dug a hot diet coke from the bowels of the garage where I had hidden them a few weeks ago. I tried to quietly open the can, pour it quickly into my cup and then bury the can in the outside trash. I so desperately didn't want Chip or Harold to see me breaking the no coke ban. I should be setting an example with nothing but pure fresh water as a beverage.

Don't judge me. I was desperate. My eyes just would not stay open, hard as I tried. At one point my head literally almost went through my computer screen. I jerked my head back so hard my neck hurts a little bit. I would have had coffee, but the afternoon sun has already warmed up my office to the point that I am warm and cozy and subsequently spontaneously dozing off and pulling muscles in my neck. The idea of drinking hot caffeine just did not appeal to me. So there I was, slinking into my own garage in my own house digging out the contraband Diet Coke. Embarrassing.

I was ashamed, but I gotta tell you, it was the best damn diet coke I have ever had. I can live with the shame.

Next, my Celebration. I am going to get my first ever pedicure on Saturday. My girl Peggy gave me a gift certificate last year for my birthday and we finally have a date to get it done. I am planning to photograph and document the entire experience for my blog. Did anyone who knows me just throw up in their mouth? Stop it! I know you may think I have the worst feet ever, and you may be right. However, lets see together if that is true or not. I will try to capture the expression on the girls face when she first lays eyes on my feet. Will she be surprised, stunned, cry, cuss, run screaming from the room, pull out a chisel and a belt sander with industrial strength coarse sandpaper?? We don't know yet, but we will on Saturday.

I am hoping that maybe, just maybe she raises one eyebrow, furrows her brow and shakes her head a little. Then I will flash her an apologetic grin (or a $20) and she will go about her business of getting 43 years of accumulated crap off of my feet. It may throw off my equilibrium to lose a couple of inches off my feet or I might go down a shoe size. It is going to be exciting!!!

1 comment:

  1. I'm totally LMAO right now!!!! At my last pedicure (a year ago) a woman sat down next to me and the poor guy looked at her feet and told her she really needed to put some lotion on them every once in awhile. Then he proceeded to get out the heavy duty tools and start grinding away the dead skin. He was still sanding away when I was done. HaHa!!! Have fun and I can't wait to read about it. =)