Saturday, June 26, 2010

First Time for Everything

Before today, I was a forty three year old pedicure virgin. I had never had my feet professionally serviced. There was a good reason for that - my feet are horrible! In fact, for years every time my mother showed up on my doorstep she had some new cream, gadget, lotion, home remedy you can think of for me to try and soften these babies up. I can recently remember her with something for horse hooves that she got at a feed store. Another time she wanted me to try Crisco. All to no avail. In my defense, I like to be barefoot a lot. Sort of like a beautiful Indian Princess...or something like that. I think my feet have just hardened up in self defense.

Anyway, as I mentioned in an earlier blog, my good friend Peggy gave me a Gift Certificate last year for my birthday. She had seen my feet on many occasions and knew they needed professional help. We went today and it was a life changing experience! Here is how I prepared for our day and the fun we had showing my feet a good time.

First, I have always thought my feet were beyond help and the idea of walking into a shop with them as they were made me sick to my stomach. Yeah, they are that bad. So in anticipation of my appointment today I did a little prep work myself to try to make them at least presentable.

Here is the before picture. You can also see from my tan line in this picture that I am fond of my flip flops!

Yesterday, I dug out this little Ped Egg that my mom had brought me on one of her previous trips to Texas. I worked my feet over pretty good and if there was a maximum capacity for dead skin in this baby I am sure I exceeded it.

After I finished with the Ped Egg, I went hard core with the moisturizer and opted for straight Vaseline! 100% Petroleum Jelly! I caked this stuff on in a nice thick layer. It was probably overkill.

How did I walk around you ask? Wouldn't this get all over the carpet and the floor? Wouldn't I slip and fall and break my neck?

Not if you put your feet in giant Ziploc bags and put socks on over that! My boys were very disturbed by this footwear! I asked Harold to take a picture for me and he said "Mom, getting a pedicure is weird." I am not going to tell him that not everyone goes through this rigorous of preparation. He will think his wife is a rock star if she can just walk into a pedicure without doing the baggie/bootie intense moister and softening process.

I am thrilled to report that I wore the baggie/socks for about three hours and it worked like a charm! Although my feet were still pretty horrible, I brought down the horrible several notches.

I did almost fall down in the shower later in the day cause they were still pretty slick! Several times yesterday and again this morning I soaked my feet in lotion to keep them decent for this morning!

We arrived at the spa at about 11:15 this morning and spent about 10 minutes picking out a color. That is hard. Too many choices - too many shades - shiny - matte - glossy - glittery. It was like picking out paint colors for your house. Every shade of pink and red ever brought together on a display cabinet shelf stared at me. I was scared to go too bold and sassy, most definitely no red for me. I settled on a nice dark brownish pink. Is brownish pink a color? Maybe it is pinkish brown.

My sassy pedicure companion went with a fantastic hot pink that made her beautiful feet shine like she was a foot model with $1M insurance on each foot. She gives me major foot envy.

After we picked our nail colors we were brought over to our chairs. I know most of you have done this before, but if you haven't please make note of a few important features. This is a massage chair. Kind of like the ones you always jump in and try at Brookstone in the mall. You know with the massage rollers that go up and down your back, alternately beating your back, kneading your shoulders. PURE HEAVEN I tell you!! Then please notice the jetted tub of hot water where you soak your feet! DOUBLE TRIPLE PURE HEAVEN!!

My feet are in hot water, my chair is doing its thing, and I have met my person. He was a boy. I wasn't expecting that. I gave him my disclaimer that this was my first rodeo. He smiled and said "Well I hope you enjoy it." He didn't flinch when my first foot came out of the water. He didn't turn in his two week notice. He didn't raise an eyebrow. He did say something in Vietnamese to his side-kick that was doing Peggy's feet and they both laughed hard. I don't think it would be me being paranoid to think it was some comment about the amount of time, tools and sheer magic it was going to take to whip my feet into shape. It didn't hurt my feelings at all because really who could blame him.

Then he got to work, scrapping, rubbing, massaging, doing all the enormously enjoyable things that these people do. By the time he was done I wanted to marry him.

Look at my stubby, supple, soft, toenail painted feet. They have never experienced the level of joy that happened today. It was my first pedicure, but it will not be my last.

Thanks Peggy for convincing me to go - I completely loved it. Thanks especially to the man whose name I didn't even learn who introduced me to the world of the pedicure. I am forever grateful!

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