Saturday, September 11, 2010

OnStar was Angry

I think my car's Onstar direction voice was pushed to its limit on Friday night. I was lost with a capital "L"!

Here is how it went down...I went out to a friend's house Friday night for a Scentsy party. More on how scratchy, itchy and irritated my nose and throat felt after smelling 126 different candle scents...but let's first cover the dang drive out there.

I printed directions from Yahoo Maps (remind me to send them a scathing note later) and headed off with my good friend Julie. Yahoo said our destination was 22 miles away. We were on some major roads for a good portion of our drive. Roads that I was familiar with. We were heading out to the country though as that is where my friend lives. Yahoo Maps seem to indicate that once we turned off the main highway it was about 3 miles away. No Problem.

Julie is reading the directions out loud to me and we seem to be hitting all the expected turns but end up WAAAAYYY of course. We call our hostess and she doesn't really even understand exactly where we have ended up. We turn around and head back to where we started before all the turning and twisting.

Start again, this time veering left because our host tells once off the main road our first turn should be left. Well, it is not really a turn but more of a "Y" in the road so we veer left. End up at some dead end.

I call OnStar. Can you help us find this address please? Certainly, your directions are being sent to your car. You are approximately 2.2 miles from your destination. Thank you.

Feeling better. Seven wrong turns later we were just laughing hysterically in the car, not just over the unmarked county roads, our lousy judgement, and the lateness of our arrival. But most hysterically laughing over how angry the Onstar voice is starting to sound when we venture off the programmed course. I think if it had the capability to cuss me, it would have let loose a string of cuss words that would make even me blush.

You ^&*(($ idiot - get back to the @#%*)( programmed route. Follow the *(@$^ directions, you )(&*)& moron!

We were u-turning, both legally and illegally, looking for smoke signals, familiar landmarks, desperate to park the dang car and buy some candles.

Anyway, the drive probably ended up putting about 65 miles on my car and we were about 40 minutes late to the party.

We made it though! We more than once thought about pulling over at the little Mexican restaurant we passed about six times to just drink a margarita, but we didn't. Persistence pays off.

The funny thing is that once we arrived, it became very obvious where we made our mistake. It really was only two turns, if you took the correct FIRST turn. Getting home was a breeze!!!

I have never felt so directionally challenged in all my life. I will be writing a letter to Yahoo Maps for their poor, poor directions and I guess I will be keeping OnStar service on my vehicle. Although, it provided directions with a lot of attitude, at least it provided them!

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