Monday, January 24, 2011

Home Owner Imbeciles

Today was a day of home maintenance appointments. I had Time Warner coming to turn on cable in two rooms upstairs. Unfortunately, they were only able to do one room and will have to come back for another appointment to do the other room.

Of course they will. Nothing is ever easy. EVER.

Then I had a chimney sweep come out to inspect and clean our gas fireplace. We had it done when we first moved in, but it has been a while.

He takes one look at it and says "Wow, you have got a mess here. You don't have any sand under your logs. Your fire must just blast out. That is why your logs are so black. They are covered in carbon. Your tray sits way close to the front. Do you have trouble with soot on your ceiling?" As he is craning his neck all around to look for himself.

I say "No, we actually burn a fire just about every day in the winter. No soot that I have noticed."

He says "This is probably one of the worst fireplaces I have seen."

I say "How long have you been doing this."

He says "Twenty years."


Our fireplace is the worst fire place you have seen in twenty years of cleaning them?


We are home maintenance imbeciles in this house. Not just pointing fingers at the hubby either. It is the both of us. How can we possible get through life so successfully when we know absolutely nothing about nothing!!!!! Especially important things like you have to have sand under your gas logs. Where is the manual about these kind of things? So troubling to me what else we are probably not doing or doing completely wrong.

Is it safe to live under the same roof with us?

I mean, the fire did blast out of there, but hey its a fire place. Isn't it supposed to do that?

Anyway, he cleaned up the logs and they look practically new. Gave me some good advice about getting sand, wool and more lava to make it not get so bad again.

I'll get it and hopefully we will install it correctly and see first hand what a gas fireplace is really supposed to look like!

We are learning something new every time we have a professional come out to our place! Either I need to call them more often or maybe just stop calling them at all. Not sure.


  1. OK first of all don't start throwing poor hubby in this group. I simply start and put out the fires, your the maintenance caller. Notice I said caller because we both ain't going to do it ourselves. Also...really are we going to just jump on everything this dude said to do? Seriously does 20 years speak well enough of his experience?? I say the house has not blown up yet, why spend the money on these "obviously unnecessary items" just because this dude says we should. If he's so smart and such the expert, this house should have blown up 5 years ago! - signed Just Saying in Round Rock

  2. This site has some fellow named Bob answering questions regarding gas fireplace logs. Seems we do have some combustion problems Houston... LOL! Who would have though that fake logs should look fake while burning. I like the charred black on them.