Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Bob Chronicles - Twelfth in a Series

I needed a good laugh today, feeling a little gloomy.  I went back through some of my old emails and ran across this one from Bob that just made me laugh out loud. 

SIDE NOTE:  I actually  had to Google how to spell Twelfth.  It is an ugly word and I hope I never have to spell it again.

Anyway, if you don't know Bob, he is my Dad.  He does enough crazy stuff that he inspired me to create a Bob Chronicles Series on my blog just for him.  I haven't done one in a while.  Bob must be running on all cylinders lately. 

If you need to catch up on any of the previous blogs in this series, click below:

Bob Chronicles - The First in a Series: Photo Processing at Walmart
Bob Chronicles - Second in a Series: Driving with Thumbs
Bob Chronicles - Third in a Series: Installing a Light Fixture
Bob Chronicles - Fourth in a Series: Sleep Apnea
Bob Chronicles - Fifth in a Series: The Colonoscopy
Bob Chronicles - Sixth in a Series: Lawnmower Maintenance
Bob Chronicles - Seventh in a Series: Burger King Bathroom
Bob Chronicles - Eighth in a Series: Ingrown Toenail
Bob Chronicles - Ninth in a Series: Diet Tips
Bob Chronicles - Tenth in a Series: Building Muscles
Bob Chronicles - Eleventh in a Series:  Moccasins

To get you up to speed, this is an actual email that I received from my Dad just prior to him and my mom coming to Texas for a visit.  The subject line of his email said "Request". 

I'm almost embarrassed to ask this favor, but can you ensure you have the following on hand when we arrive:

1. V8 Tomato juice. This helps protect against Prostate cancer.

2. Banana's...not old with spots. The potassium helps prevent cramping and keeps brain cells alive.

3. Mixed nuts.....the good kind with NO peanuts in them. This would be a big treat as I always have to buy the ones with peanuts because of our "Fixed Income" situation.

4. Miller Lite....A case will probably be good for the entire trip depending on how much pain I encounter. Would be nice if several were already cold when we arrive.

 5. Last but not least "Doculax". So we won't have to use coat hangers to club the big ones to death.

If I can think of anything else I will let you know. Thanks in advance for your cooperation and understanding.

This made me laugh so hard.  Then I saw a response to this email that Hubby sent back to Dad. It was even better.

What tha *&^%$@(*& ??

I haven't checked, but I don't think there's a HILTON or RAMADA INN sign in my front yard !! Would you like some travel size shampoo and conditioner in the shower as well?

It's not enough that every time some one comes and visits I have to go in debt to pay for the freaking "Welcoming Baskets" (Good N Plenty, pistachios, etc...).

I was thinking that I was going to start taking some tax deductions and start running this place as a Bed N Breakfast. But after looking at these requests it looks like what I need to start is an old folks home. Should we get some Maalox and Depends as well?

Your Hotel Manager...

P.S. Please don't take our monogrammed towels home with you !!

Bob responded:

I wear a Men's Large in Depends. I appreciate your thoughtfulness in caring for this old couple. You will be rewarded tenfold for all your good deeds.

The travel size shampoo and conditioner is a good idea. Just slip it into our welcoming basket if there is any room left. If not, please get a bigger basket.

See you Tuesday.

That little email exchange just perked me right up!   Hope you find something to laugh about in your day!


  1. I love your crazy family! I didn't understand #5 though??? :)

  2. Your family makes me laugh out loud. Chris and I think you should devote an entire post to Bob's "Zoom Stance"!

  3. It sure doesn't help to have a cold when reading your blogs. Laughing while coughing and your nose running, really creates a big mess on your face and scatters germs throughout the house. Maybe I won't take a Mucinex now that my sinus has beeen cleared. I even had a big laugh at Sandy's comment on this blog. Dad

  4. ok...that was funny...made for a good laugh in the midst of bookkeeping. your dad's comment is a good one as well. i agree with sandy with the zoom stance. i don't even know sandy, but i agree with her. have a great day!

  5. That is hilarious!!