Monday evening we were all dashing around getting ready for the Cross Country Banquet. I had just jumped out of the shower when Harry knocks on my bedroom door.
Here is the conversation as it really happened:
Harry: Hey Mom, can I ask you a question?
Mom: Sure. But hurry up, you need to get in the shower.
Harry: Is it bad if water gets on the ceiling above the shower?
Harry: Is it bad if you spray water on the ceiling?
Mom: Yes, it is bad, why?
Mom: Why? What happened?
Harry: There was a spider on the ceiling and so I just turned the shower head upside down and sprayed it to knock it down.
Mom: Well son, you should not spray water on the ceiling. The ceiling is made of sheet rock, which is porous. It is not like the tile that surrounds the shower and is made to get wet. Sheetrock holds moisture and grows mold if it stays damp. When you say you sprayed it, did you spray the whole ceiling?
Harry: Oh no, no, no, I just turned the shower head upside down and blasted the spider. It is only about this big. (Holds his hands out about a foot and half). But you know what Mom? This is one of those life lessons that you just don't know until you ask someone.
Mom: What do you mean?
Harry: Like who knows what you can spray with water and what you can't. You just have to learn as you go.
Mom: Well, I guess that is true, but I wish you would have asked me before you decided to spray the ceiling.
Harry: I just assumed it would be fine until I saw the weird way the water was hanging off like it was a damp cave or something and I figured it was bad.
Mom: Did you get the spider?
Harry: No. I ended up hitting it with a towel.
So, if you have a teenager or even a pre-teen, please tell them at the dinner table tonight...do not talk to strangers; do not eat candy that is not wrapped; chew carefully when you are eating fish because there might be a bone; never put electricity near water; wear your seat belt; take your vitamins; sharpie will come off of skin but it takes a lot of rubbing; look both ways before crossing the street; furniture should not be used as a Kleenex; if you are choking on something do not continue to put more food into your mouth until the choking has passed and now add to the list....PLEASE whatever you do....don't spray water on the ceiling to shoot down a bug.
Also, in other hard to believe news.....
Last night I pulled out some leftover pork that we had for dinner on Tuesday night. I was going to make soft tacos. Chip requested crunchy shells for his tacos. I had some in the pantry so it was no problem to pop a couple in the oven to warm. Well, I over-warmed them to the point that they were a tiny bit over cooked. I tried to give them to him anyway.
Chip: These tacos shells taste weird.
Mom: (Acting Surprised!) Maybe I overcooked them, let me heat you up a couple more.
I heated him up a couple more and he ate one.
Chip: These still taste kind of weird.
He gets up, goes to the pantry, pulls out the box and just stares at me.
Chip: Mom, these taco shells expired in July of 2010.
Mom: Well that could certainly explain why they tasted weird.
Then he immediately thought I had poisoned him. I didn't of course, but I had a similar incident at my own parents house. In fact, now I am kinda famous for checking expiration dates of things at my Mom and Dad's. The problem is they don't have the food turnover they used to when they had three kids. My date checking began in 2008 when while visiting them I bit into a Zebra Cake that combusted in my mouth. Expiration date on the box was 2005.
That might be a bit of an exaggeration.
It was old and gross. That is not an exaggeration.
Based on last night, I might need to turn my attention to my own pantry.