Sunday, February 1, 2015

The Model

Hubby:  I think I am going to take Chip to get a model car that we can build together.  I loved model cars when I was a kid.  

Me:  Aww, that is a really sweet idea.  As much as Chip has always loved Legos, I am sure he would thoroughly enjoy that.

Off they go to Michaels to check out the latest and greatest model inventory.  Much debating, comparing of models, coolest car, gathering of supplies and they were super jazzed to get it home and get to work.  

Open  the box.  

Yikes, it ALL needs to be painted first.  

Didn't have that in the plan.  

Plan adjusted and car parts spread all over the patio and spray paint put into action.  Lots of light, thin coats so it will have an awesome finish.  But oh no, it is getting dark.  Paint is not dry.  Dad leaves in the morning for Phoenix.

Me:  No problem.  I am sure that I can help Chip put it together once the paint is dry.  

Hubby:  I am sure you can.  Just a word of advice, if you use the glue, be sure you don't have it on your fingers because it will smudge the paint. 

Me:  Okay.  I got it. 

Me and Chip start working on it bright and early the next morning.  We search through the seven sets of instructions to find the one in English.  I find my reading glasses, a magnifying glass, a flashlight, blow up the instructions on my copy machine...just so I can even begin to read the damn small print.  Public Service Announcement:  What is up with all the small print?  I know my eye sight is getting worse.  I understand that I am old and that is to be expected.  I am also sure manufacturers are trying to cram all the instructions on just two pieces of paper to save money - but I beg of you...please, please raise the damn price of the product a nickel and use a bigger font and an extra piece of paper. Thank you. 

Anyway, me and Chip start with Step #1 and I glanced to the back of the page and see that the last Step is #74.  Holy Wow.  That is a lot of steps. 

Step #1 was a little bit hard.  The tiny little piece that was supposed to fit in the tiny little hole was a little hard to find since everything was spray painted black.  And the picture in the book showed the model right side up, but the first piece went on the bottom.  We managed.  We pushed it firmly, we heard the click.  VICTORY.  

Step #2 took us about 10 minutes to figure out where it went and then the satisfactory click.  Yes, now we are on a roll.

About Step #7 things were getting a little bit frustrating. 

Welcome to a flashback of Chip's "Mean Face".  He sported this face through much of his third and fourth years of life.  It was often accompanied by scratching, clawing, punching, kicking....or any other means of lashing out in physical anger.  I am proud to say that before he celebrated his fifth birthday he had pretty much mastered the art of controlling his frustration...UNTIL he picked up this model.  

Now, please understand the twelve year old mean face did not accompany any physical act of anger - but I do think I once saw steam coming out of his ears.  

I sent my husband the following text:  "Chip just said "Models are fun, if you like fun that feels like you are ripping your genitals off."

That sentence came out of my son's mouth.  I should have reprimanded him, but a more accurate description of the fun we were having could not be found. 

We got to about this stage in the completion of the model after two serious hours of work.  I think we were on Step #34.  The dashboard would not stay in place so we finally pulled out the model glue.  It was obvious it would take a bit of time to set, so we took a much deserved break from all this fun.  

I then sent my husband the following text: "You were worried about fingerprints?  We are worried about killing someone.  #frustratedoutofourminds #whothehellsideawasthisanyway

Obviously, my hashtags need some work. 

In response, I got this picture from my husband who was in Phoenix at the NFL ProBowl with Harry! 

They do not look frustrated or worried about killing anyone, do they?  

After we gave the glue about an hour to set, Chip and I headed back to the kitchen table to see if we could finish this model up.  It was another hour or so of praying for the click, leaving pieces off that we couldn't figure out, messing with the glue, trying to get that damn windshield to stay in place.  There was scotch tape involved as a last resort.

FINALLY, it was as good as we could get it.  

Does this not look like a kid who just had the best time ever?  I sent Hubby this picture. 

His text:  Looking good.  Don't forget the spray gloss. 

My response:  Shit, the whole thing is covered in fingerprints and sweat and spit and held together with gobs of horrible glue and scotch tape.  Not sure spray gloss is going to help.  Is there a gloss with glue in it?  That might help as a final coat. 

Chip pushes back from the table.  Looks at me and says "That was fun.  I think we should get another one."

I laughed and laughed. 

He was serious!! 

Good times!  Good times indeed!  

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