Friday, November 18, 2016

Thanksgiving Games

I sent out the below email to my family in Bama in preparation for our annual Thanksgiving festivities.  I thought I would share it here, in case anyone wants to borrow some of our game ideas to use with your own families!   It is going to be so fun!  

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Hello there family and friends!  It is time to start getting in shape, limbering up and stretching out for the traditional Family Thanksgiving Games!   I am going to pretend I did not hear a universal groan go out among the crowd reading this!!!  Pipe down!   It is going to be so much fun and you don't want to miss it!  I mean, nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running with a plunger between your legs.  Am I right? 

Please note, these games are mandatory for my husband and anyone that is blood related to me and under the age of 25 (unless you have a doctor's excuse for a current injury).  Otherwise, it is not mandatory but you are more than welcome to participate.  In fact, you are highly encouraged to participate.  The more the merrier! 

So, what do we have lined up you ask?  Let me tell you!  

1.  We will start off with the non-traditional frisbee football game.  Team Captains….Hubby and Guk.  Cheerleader team captain is The Queen.  The Queen has traditionally had a very weak turnout for cheer tryouts, so if you can shake a pom-pom or yell loudly, please plan to join the sideline cheer section.  No prior experience required.  Bob will be official photographer and if he needs to zoom in on are required to hold still.   Fifteen yard personal foul if you in any way avoid a photograph.  Mario will act as referee and will be responsible for all calls and replay challenges.  

2.  Team Tic Tac Toe - this game will require two teams to relay race to a large tic tac toe board and place their team bean bag in a square. The first team to get a tic tac toe wins.  You cannot move your opponents bean bag, but you can move your own teams bean bag to another square.  This will be a best of five series.  Team Captains….Hubby and Guk. 

3.  Plunger Relay - this game will require two teams to relay race to get three rolls of toilet paper on a plunger (they will be new plungers!)  One player will put the plunger between their legs and attempt to retrieve a new roll of toilet paper from between the legs of their other team members onto the handle of the plunger.  No hands can be used by the plunger person or the toilet paper person!  First team to get three rolls on the plunger wins.  Team Captains….myself and The Nice One

Then we will move indoors to keep the fun rolling:

4.  Solo Cup Pyramid Stack - This is a team building game that requires teams to use only one hand and a rubber band to build a pyramid stack.  Number of teams to participate will be determined on Thursday afternoon.  No talking during this game.  No talking will be strictly enforced with Duct Tape.  First team to successfully build a pyramid wins.  Judge.....Bob

5.  Corn to Copia - This is a Minute to Win It game and will be played in teams of two.  One player will be blindfolded and given a traditional cornucopia basket.  The other player will be required to hike cobs of corn to their teammate to catch in the basket.  The corn hiker can give verbal directions to the blindfolded corn catcher.  Bring your athletic cup if you are worried about being hit in the nether regions!  The most corn caught in one minute wins.  Official time keeper….Mario

6.  What a Racket? - This is an individual Minute to Win It game.  Contestants will be required to hold a tennis racket between their legs and move a marble to the highlighted square on the racket web.  No hands may be used to hold the racket or move the marble.  Hips only!  Fastest person to land their marble in the square wins.  Official time keeper…..Mario

7.  Traffic Yams Race - This group game will require all participants to move a sweet potato across the floor to the finish line using a plastic spoon in their mouth.  No hands.  You may play defense by moving another players potato to get it off course.  First player across the finish line wins.  Bring your knee pads if you have them!!!  Judge....Bob

FINALLY....we will wrap up the days events with a traditional game of Left-Right-Center.  Please bring three (3) one dollar bills for each member of your family that wants to play.  There are big bucks at stake here so start practicing your dice rolling and don't forget your dollars.  

Hope that gets you fired up because I CANNOT WAIT!!!!  It will be a blast!!  

See you next week!

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

The Tree (Bob)…..The Apple (Me)

I have shared a couple of Bob's misfortunate stories over the last couple of days and gotten some serious laughter out of them.  Bob is just a mess.

As the saying goes, I am my father's daughter and I have a story to tell on myself.  There should be no shortage of stories for my children to tell now that I am north of fifty!

A few weeks ago, the last football game of the season was rained out. Since the boys were back to school early, they asked if we could head over to a local chicken joint to have dinner together.  MJT's mom and I were all in and headed over to eat and celebrate the end of the football season with our boys.

As we were waiting in line to order, I started rifling through my purse for my wallet.  I couldn't find it.  Oh no, I was so embarrassed.  I look over to Anna who is standing in another line and with my face turning red said "I don't have my wallet."   She laughs and waves her credit card at me and tells me jump in her line and she will cover me.

I move over to her line, working through my embarrassment by talking a mile a minute while continuing to rifle through my purse like my huge wallet might magically appear…

"I can't imagine where it is."
"Is this what happens when you turn 50?  You start losing crap?"
"I did have my wallet out at home to put a new credit card in it.  Maybe I left it on the kitchen counter."
"Could it have fallen out in my car?"
"Wouldn't Chip have just died if I had already ordered and then realized I didn't have my wallet?"
"I am so glad I noticed before I ordered."

 I give up.  Zip up my purse.  Resign myself to worry about the whereabouts of my wallet after we eat.

Then it happens.

I sling my purse over my shoulder and y'all… wallet was under my armpit.

I had it the whole damn time.

Apparently, I took my wallet out of my purse, tucked it under my arm so I could more easily search through my purse for the very wallet I just tucked under my arm.

I lost it.  Cracked up.  I made a loud announcement to everyone in ear shot.  "OMG, I had my wallet under my arm the whole time I was looking for it."  Blank stares.  They didn't care.

Anna, however was gracious enough to look at me and say "Welcome.  Things like that happen to me EVERY day."

I asked her to take a picture of me in search mode cause I knew I would want to blog about this.  This is exactly how it went down.

What the what???  How?? 

I actually know how.  I have witnessed, participated and written about all the antics Bob has endured, so I realize this kind of stuff is just going to be his legacy.  What a gift.  Thanks Dad! 

Friday, November 11, 2016

Bob Chronicles - Sixteenth in a Series

I am so glad you came back!   This might be my ALL TIME favorite Bob story…and there have been some doozies.

I have told this story to every person I have come in contact with since he shared it with me.  It makes me scream every time.

Sunday afternoon.  This story starts a whole lot like Bob Chronicles - Fifteenth in a Series…Bob was working on can men in the garage.

Seriously!  This is his life, people!

Saturday was spray paint day….so Sunday was obviously drilling and assembly day.

Bob, has a system down pat.  He charges up his drill, makes all his measurements, lines up his cans, throws his safety goggles on and gets busy!  Metal bits fly all over the place until either he is done or his drill runs out of juice.

Well Sunday, while he was in the throws of drilling and assembly day he ran out of rods.  These are long metal rods that go inside the big can, kind of like a Can Man spine.

He stopped production, grabbed his keys and headed up to Home Depot to get more rods.

He is a regular at Home Depot and knows exactly where the metal rods are kept on Aisle 9.  Bob needs 12 X 5/8" rods, and he has learned through experience you have to look really closely to make sure you get the right size.  People sometimes put the wrong size in the 12 X 5/8" slot so you really need to check each sticker on each rod.

Bob was struggling to read the tiny stickers, so he reached up to clean his glasses and y'all…..his hand hit his safety goggles!!!!!!

OMG!!  He never took his safety goggles off.

He wore them in the car.
Wore them through the front door of Home Depot.
Wore them all the way down Aisle 9.
He was standing in the store with his safety goggles on looking at rods.

Oh my heavens.  I am laughing out loud right now!

I asked him to please send me a picture of him in his goggles and he did!

I could not love these selfies any more than I do!


What a stud.  He is a keeper OR he needs a keeper!!!  Lana is a lucky woman.

P.S.   It is not lost on me that I know too damn much about this can man production but my parents have made over 100 of these tin people.  They are practically family.

P.S.S.   The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  Wait until tomorrow when I tell you what happened to me.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Bob Chronicles - Fifteenth in a Series

It has been awhile since I have written about Bob's antics, but I just have to share what happened to him this past weekend.

There are actually two stories…they happened one day after the other.

Let's start with lunch on Saturday…this will be fifteenth in the Bob Chronicles series.  Tomorrow I will share the other story.  Come back.  YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS #16.

Bob was home alone working on can men in the garage, as he is apt to do on any given day.  It was spray paint day, so he had on his grungy clothes and was spraying cans up and down the garage assembly line.

About 11:22 a.m. (it seriously was probably exactly 11:22, because Bob is on an eating schedule!) he started to get a little hungry.  He grabbed his wallet and keys and jumped in his car and headed for the border….Taco Bell.

It was packed.   But, he was feeling some tacos, so given his paint covered clothes he decided to wait in the drive-thru line.

A couple of things to note:

1) Bob's Taco Bell has one of those drive-thru lanes that has a curb on either side, so once you get in the line, you are trapped.

2)  There were about eight cars in front of him, so he had some time to kill.

Bob cranks up the tunes in his car to listen as he is waiting.  His mouth was watering just thinking about those yummy tacos.  Every time a car would inch up in front of him, he would pull up a little too.   Like a normal person.

It was about four songs into his wait, when he realized he had driven right past the speaker to order and was almost up to the paying window.  What?  How?  Who does that?  Forgot to order?  More importantly…NOW WHAT?

He was trapped!  He couldn't get out of line because of the curb thing.

What do you think he did?

If you said, opened his car door and ran back to the speaker to place his order….ding, ding, ding…..that is the correct answer!

The lady that was placing her order in the car behind him didn't know what to think when he started walking from his car up to the menu board.  She slowly rolled her window up as Bob approached.  He smiled kindly at her and mouthed through her closed car window "I forgot to place my order."

Then he commences to calling someone through the speaker "Hello?  Hello?  Is anyone there?"  The Taco Bell employee answers with "Yes."  Bob explains that he has accidentally passed the speaker without ordering and could he please have a number 8 with a diet pepsi.

Once he places his order, he starts heading back to his car when he hears "Do you want beef or chicken?"  He hustles back to the speaker "Beef will be fine."  Again, he turns and heads to his car "Do you want crunchy or soft?"  Oh Lord.  He runs back again "Soft, please."  Then one final time as he has his hand on the car door "Sir, we are out of Diet Pepsi."  He hustles back one last time and says "Regular is fine."

By the time he has completed his order, gotten his steps in for the day and seated himself back in his car, there are no cars left in front of him and he pulls directly up to the window to pay.

My sweet Dad.  What a hot mess.

Obviously, he can't ever go back to Taco Bell or any other drive-thru that he can't escape when he forgets to place his order.   Escape route is a must.

Monday, November 7, 2016

False Advertising

Hey there, my four sweet blog reading peeps!  Hope all is well in your world.  This daylight savings time has me feeling like it is time for pajamas and wine and it is only 6:00 p.m.  That is going to make for a long evening!   So while I am trying to keep my eyes open, let me fill you in on what's been happening around here.

First, a little funny.  I was opening a brand new container of cornstarch for a recipe I made on Friday (what the recipe was escapes me at the moment!)  Anyway, I pulled the little cover off the container that says "Stay Fresh - No Mess!" and the damn thing exploded all over me!  I just started cracking up.  I mean, it actually says No Mess with an exclamation point!!!!  They meant it.  They were wrong.

Now that I am working part time, I have been able to do a little more volunteering and it has been wonderful.  I had three volunteer gigs last week and could not have been happier. 

On Tuesday, I started reading with my little first graders as part of the Literacy Partners program.  They are PRECIOUS!!!  I mean just the cutest little boys EVER!  (I keep typing in all caps because I really mean it).  I took a whole slew of books for us to read and had the best time sitting next to them sounding out some words and telling them what amazing readers they were.   So easy to put smiles on their faces!  Filled me right up!  And I get to go back tomorrow!  Hooray! 

On Wednesday, I had the privilege of volunteering at the Clothes Closet for our school district.  What a fantastic program.  All the schools in the district take their unclaimed Lost and Found clothes and jackets to the Clothes Closet - along with other donations from the community.  The volunteers sort through the donations and only keep the very best items.  Hanging and merchandising the items by boy/girl, size and type.  Families that need a little help can get a voucher each semester to get five tops, five bottoms, three outerwear (coats, sweaters, hoodies), five underwear and five socks per child.  So many nice things and lots of folks in there taking advantage of the service.  I will definitely go back.

Saturday morning, me and Chip helped out at the local Serving Center, which is primarily a food pantry.  They are also a huge resource in the community for underprivileged families.  Our group of boys and moms were tasked with general cleaning of the place and we dug in and made a difference!  We cleaned a very dirty stairwell, sweeping, mopping, dusting, cleaning walls.  Wiped down every surface we could find on the entire bottom floor.  It was sweaty, dirty work but much needed and sure felt good to walk out of there feeling like a shower was in order.

A great week of feeling helpful!

In other news…..

Freshman football is over.  Our last game was a rain out.  I was so bummed.  I loved watching my little Chip do his thing!  Maybe he will play again next year.


Bama rolled over LSU.  I was a bundle of nerves with that defensive showdown.  So happy they pulled it out.  

Harry played in his first intramural BASKETBALL game last week.  They won!!!   He scored!!!  He hit a three!!!  He is definitely having fun! 

Kid Lyd and her parents came for a visit this weekend.  We cooked, baked, had some laughs, watched some football.  Did a little shopping.   It was fun. 

That is all for now!   My eyes are getting droopy.  It is only 7:00!