I think my car's Onstar direction voice was pushed to its limit on Friday night. I was lost with a capital "L"!
Here is how it went down...I went out to a friend's house Friday night for a Scentsy party. More on how scratchy, itchy and irritated my nose and throat felt after smelling 126 different candle scents...but let's first cover the dang drive out there.
I printed directions from Yahoo Maps (remind me to send them a scathing note later) and headed off with my good friend Julie. Yahoo said our destination was 22 miles away. We were on some major roads for a good portion of our drive. Roads that I was familiar with. We were heading out to the country though as that is where my friend lives. Yahoo Maps seem to indicate that once we turned off the main highway it was about 3 miles away. No Problem.
Julie is reading the directions out loud to me and we seem to be hitting all the expected turns but end up WAAAAYYY of course. We call our hostess and she doesn't really even understand exactly where we have ended up. We turn around and head back to where we started before all the turning and twisting.
Start again, this time veering left because our host tells once off the main road our first turn should be left. Well, it is not really a turn but more of a "Y" in the road so we veer left. End up at some dead end.
I call OnStar. Can you help us find this address please? Certainly, your directions are being sent to your car. You are approximately 2.2 miles from your destination. Thank you.
Feeling better. Seven wrong turns later we were just laughing hysterically in the car, not just over the unmarked county roads, our lousy judgement, and the lateness of our arrival. But most hysterically laughing over how angry the Onstar voice is starting to sound when we venture off the programmed course. I think if it had the capability to cuss me, it would have let loose a string of cuss words that would make even me blush.
You ^&*(($ idiot - get back to the @#%*)( programmed route. Follow the *(@$^ directions, you )(&*)& moron!
We were u-turning, both legally and illegally, looking for smoke signals, familiar landmarks, desperate to park the dang car and buy some candles.
Anyway, the drive probably ended up putting about 65 miles on my car and we were about 40 minutes late to the party.
We made it though! We more than once thought about pulling over at the little Mexican restaurant we passed about six times to just drink a margarita, but we didn't. Persistence pays off.
The funny thing is that once we arrived, it became very obvious where we made our mistake. It really was only two turns, if you took the correct FIRST turn. Getting home was a breeze!!!
I have never felt so directionally challenged in all my life. I will be writing a letter to Yahoo Maps for their poor, poor directions and I guess I will be keeping OnStar service on my vehicle. Although, it provided directions with a lot of attitude, at least it provided them!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
School Download
I love the afternoons, when my kids download their day for me. Chip is super detailed. He gives me a running commentary while we take the short walk to the car and on the one mile drive home. Here is how today went.
"Hey Mom. I almost got a Starburst candy today for answering a question. It was so close, but I had to get a clue so that means you don't get a candy. Do I like Starburst? We are learning about coins. You know Colin. He is a real smarty pants. Not like a nerd, but for real smart. He knew the name of Abraham Lincoln's house was Monticello. Who knows stuff like that? So, Mr. Bradley still wants us to find out what is on the back of the 50 cent piece. He said we could Google it. So can I? My lunch was the best lunch ever today. Thank you for that schnitzel. I didn't know what it was. When I saw it was schnitzel I just ate it right up. We had a super mean substitute in Music today. She was tall and super skinny with white hair. She did not like us. I went to the library today. So Thursday is my actual library day. I got two non-fiction books about sports. Oh, and mom I got a really cool book to do my summary of. It is a Hank Aaron book. I left it in my desk to bring home tomorrow. That is what we are supposed to do. What did you do today? Can Pootie come over?"
Makes my head spin.
Later in the afternoon, Harold busts through the door 30 minutes late and I get this:
"NO HOMEWORK!"
Then there was some ranting about the bus driver who may or may not be retarded. Poor soul just can't seem to figure out the bus route and after two weeks of mistakes it is getting a little old!
Harold usually has to urgently pee, get a drink, grab a snack and then he can fill me in a little better on his day.
They give me different kinds of downloads, but eventually I get the details from both of them.
"Hey Mom. I almost got a Starburst candy today for answering a question. It was so close, but I had to get a clue so that means you don't get a candy. Do I like Starburst? We are learning about coins. You know Colin. He is a real smarty pants. Not like a nerd, but for real smart. He knew the name of Abraham Lincoln's house was Monticello. Who knows stuff like that? So, Mr. Bradley still wants us to find out what is on the back of the 50 cent piece. He said we could Google it. So can I? My lunch was the best lunch ever today. Thank you for that schnitzel. I didn't know what it was. When I saw it was schnitzel I just ate it right up. We had a super mean substitute in Music today. She was tall and super skinny with white hair. She did not like us. I went to the library today. So Thursday is my actual library day. I got two non-fiction books about sports. Oh, and mom I got a really cool book to do my summary of. It is a Hank Aaron book. I left it in my desk to bring home tomorrow. That is what we are supposed to do. What did you do today? Can Pootie come over?"
Makes my head spin.
Later in the afternoon, Harold busts through the door 30 minutes late and I get this:
"NO HOMEWORK!"
Then there was some ranting about the bus driver who may or may not be retarded. Poor soul just can't seem to figure out the bus route and after two weeks of mistakes it is getting a little old!
Harold usually has to urgently pee, get a drink, grab a snack and then he can fill me in a little better on his day.
They give me different kinds of downloads, but eventually I get the details from both of them.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
It's Raining...and More
Okay, so the link to the pictures didn't work! Sorry about that! There are lots of good ones, so if you want to see the album just email me and I will send it to you!
What else is up here in Texas? Let's make a list:
1) It's raining - ALOT. We had close to 12 inches of rain over 24 hours or something equally wet and ridiculous. Poor Astro wouldn't go out to pee for love, money or a rawhide chewy all day yesterday. I thought he might explode. He didn't.
2) I have to go to Alabama for training next week. I have my clothes picked out, but have no shoes to wear. I don't think my Croc flip flops are going to cut it. Why not? Why can't you wear Croc flip flops to work? Is there a rule? I know there is a rule, but I hate it.
3) Went to see my "female" doctor this morning. That yearly appointment seems to come around way too fast. Now I get to schedule a Mammogram. Oh the joy of being a woman.
4) Harold is covered up in homework. Bless his heart.
5) I am making homemade rolls again tonight. They are no good for me. They are evil.
6) Harold hated music last week - this week he loves it. That kid is a chameleon (could that possibly be spelled correctly?) Changing all the time. He likes Nickelback. Who is this kid?
7) Chip is learning place value. He loves place value. Wants me to make up a long number so he can tell me the place value. I wish it was more fun for me.
8) I am going to get a manicure tomorrow or Friday. My first ever. With my own nails. I will be marking #32 off of my list. That will be five items off of the list of 50. Progress.
9) Fantasy Football Family Draft is tonight. I haven't studied or prepared at all. I will pull together some random team and hopefully have a decent season. Time to win back the trophy.
10) We played Balderdash on our trip this weekend. It is a game where you have to make up a definition for a word and try to get the other players to think your definition is the right one. I was the reader for one round and was collecting definitions. I can't even remember what the word was but Peggy handed me a definition that said "A dance of celebration in Kabul" (or something like that) and it just struck me as so damn funny. I have found myself chuckling. No, that is not the truth. I have laughed out loud to myself several times since then. I get so tickled thinking about that definition. I don't even know why. It is a perfectly respectable definition. Makes me laugh just thinking about it now. So if you want to hit my funnybone sometime, just start talking about a dance of celebration. I am liable to snort.
Hope your day has been terrific!!
What else is up here in Texas? Let's make a list:
1) It's raining - ALOT. We had close to 12 inches of rain over 24 hours or something equally wet and ridiculous. Poor Astro wouldn't go out to pee for love, money or a rawhide chewy all day yesterday. I thought he might explode. He didn't.
2) I have to go to Alabama for training next week. I have my clothes picked out, but have no shoes to wear. I don't think my Croc flip flops are going to cut it. Why not? Why can't you wear Croc flip flops to work? Is there a rule? I know there is a rule, but I hate it.
3) Went to see my "female" doctor this morning. That yearly appointment seems to come around way too fast. Now I get to schedule a Mammogram. Oh the joy of being a woman.
4) Harold is covered up in homework. Bless his heart.
5) I am making homemade rolls again tonight. They are no good for me. They are evil.
6) Harold hated music last week - this week he loves it. That kid is a chameleon (could that possibly be spelled correctly?) Changing all the time. He likes Nickelback. Who is this kid?
7) Chip is learning place value. He loves place value. Wants me to make up a long number so he can tell me the place value. I wish it was more fun for me.
8) I am going to get a manicure tomorrow or Friday. My first ever. With my own nails. I will be marking #32 off of my list. That will be five items off of the list of 50. Progress.
9) Fantasy Football Family Draft is tonight. I haven't studied or prepared at all. I will pull together some random team and hopefully have a decent season. Time to win back the trophy.
10) We played Balderdash on our trip this weekend. It is a game where you have to make up a definition for a word and try to get the other players to think your definition is the right one. I was the reader for one round and was collecting definitions. I can't even remember what the word was but Peggy handed me a definition that said "A dance of celebration in Kabul" (or something like that) and it just struck me as so damn funny. I have found myself chuckling. No, that is not the truth. I have laughed out loud to myself several times since then. I get so tickled thinking about that definition. I don't even know why. It is a perfectly respectable definition. Makes me laugh just thinking about it now. So if you want to hit my funnybone sometime, just start talking about a dance of celebration. I am liable to snort.
Hope your day has been terrific!!
Monday, September 6, 2010
Labor Day Weekend
We had a great long weekend at the Frios River! I took tons of pictures and am going to try something a little different with this blog. See if you can link to my Kodak Gallery photo album here (click on the word "here"). I put captions on the pictures so hopefully it will tell the story of the fun we had!
I hope you enjoy the album and please be sure and let me know what you think about displaying pictures this way!
Must get to work!
I hope you enjoy the album and please be sure and let me know what you think about displaying pictures this way!
Must get to work!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Cheers and Jeers
It's raining!
Sound of rain falling - YAY!
No walk - BOO!
It's Friday
TGIF - YAY!
Much to do today - BOO!
Food Journal
Two days in a row - YAY!
Still eating too much crap - BOO!
Happy Friday ya'll! We have lots of fun plans for the weekend and it will be technology free! I will be unplugged from all electronics! Sounds good already! Can't wait to share stories and pictures on Tuesday! Hope your holiday weekend is terrific!
Sound of rain falling - YAY!
No walk - BOO!
It's Friday
TGIF - YAY!
Much to do today - BOO!
Food Journal
Two days in a row - YAY!
Still eating too much crap - BOO!
Happy Friday ya'll! We have lots of fun plans for the weekend and it will be technology free! I will be unplugged from all electronics! Sounds good already! Can't wait to share stories and pictures on Tuesday! Hope your holiday weekend is terrific!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
What's Up?
Seriously, it is September already??
Wow.
That was fast.
That means Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner and we will be welcoming in 2011 before you know it.
SLOW DOWN 2010!
Things are rocking along at our house! New water softener is installed. Coffee tastes great.
School is going well. Chip has mastered "afraid" and is therefore completely ready for his first spelling test of the year. Harold is plowing through homework every night without much complaining. A missed assignment, a botched electronic Biology quiz, a couple of missed buses, but pretty painless for the first couple of days in the new adventure of high school.
Food Journal kicked off yesterday. Wrote down every single thing I ate. I had three fruits and some veggies so that was good.
I made some homemade rolls with yeast and kneading and rising. The whole bit. They were awesome.
I have to travel to Alabama for work in a couple of weeks. GROAN. UGH. That means coming up with something to wear for four days of work. Getting on a damn airplane. Getting my family organized so that everything goes as smoothly as possible while I am gone. So much effort just to get there. But, the one bright side is that I get to stay with Mom and Dad and that is always a pleasure.
College Football kicks off this weekend! YAY!!
Hope your day is excellent!
Wow.
That was fast.
That means Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner and we will be welcoming in 2011 before you know it.
SLOW DOWN 2010!
Things are rocking along at our house! New water softener is installed. Coffee tastes great.
School is going well. Chip has mastered "afraid" and is therefore completely ready for his first spelling test of the year. Harold is plowing through homework every night without much complaining. A missed assignment, a botched electronic Biology quiz, a couple of missed buses, but pretty painless for the first couple of days in the new adventure of high school.
Food Journal kicked off yesterday. Wrote down every single thing I ate. I had three fruits and some veggies so that was good.
I made some homemade rolls with yeast and kneading and rising. The whole bit. They were awesome.
I have to travel to Alabama for work in a couple of weeks. GROAN. UGH. That means coming up with something to wear for four days of work. Getting on a damn airplane. Getting my family organized so that everything goes as smoothly as possible while I am gone. So much effort just to get there. But, the one bright side is that I get to stay with Mom and Dad and that is always a pleasure.
College Football kicks off this weekend! YAY!!
Hope your day is excellent!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Food Journal
Beginning tomorrow, Wednesday, September 1st I am going to start writing down what I eat in a food journal. It is actually an extra composition notebook from the beginning of the school year supply buying frenzy, but I am going to call it a food journal.
I am going to start with just writing down what I eat. Maybe a rough estimate of the amount. No calorie counting. No carb counting. Just what I eat and when.
It's a start. An awareness. A way to be thoughtful and maybe a bit more responsible for what goes in my mouth. Because folks it has been a damn free for all lately. Must change the random, mindless, eating that has become my norm.
Join me if you feel so inclined.
I am going to start with just writing down what I eat. Maybe a rough estimate of the amount. No calorie counting. No carb counting. Just what I eat and when.
It's a start. An awareness. A way to be thoughtful and maybe a bit more responsible for what goes in my mouth. Because folks it has been a damn free for all lately. Must change the random, mindless, eating that has become my norm.
Join me if you feel so inclined.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)